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Sunday, January 25, 2009

Truthfulness

Why is it so hard for my oldest to tell the truth? He lies to me repeatedly. He has gone UA a second time. This time he was away from base six days. His girlfriend told me he had returned to base. He tells me he has permission to leave. Doesn't. Didn't. Never did. I have received calls from a warrant officer and his school instructor informing me of his disappearance.

His girlfriend had a baby in November of '08. I asked her who the father was. She told me the name of another fellow. My son was present when I asked. Mind you I don't know this young lady very well. Last week I received a text from her phone, while he was with her, saying the other fellow was tested and he is not the father. I received an email from her a couple days later, after he had gone back to base, saying she wants to have the other fellow tested to rule him out. The other possible father is my son. My son tells me today on the phone that they were pretty sure in the beginning that he was the father. Why did he wait until today to tell me this? Why not months ago? I went with my son to the hospital the day after the baby was born. I went into the NICU with his girlfriend to see her son. I have even held the little guy.

He tells me he has been in contact with his biological father whom he met two years ago for the first time. Says that his father has offered to help out if they need any assistance. This man was never there for his own son. Would be nice to think that he will be there for his possible grandson. My son and his father are both full of malarky. They tell the greatest stories and believe them. It is very frustrating.

So here I sit not knowing if I am this child's grandmother. I would love to be a part of his life now if I am. My son has proposed to his girlfriend. That is great and all, except he can't seem to keep his butt on the base. When he left Camp Pendleton the first time his pay was stopped. How is this suppose to benifit a wife and child? Now he owes the Marine Corps money for being UA.

My tummy is in knots. My heart strings feel like they are loose and just dangling in the wind waiting for his next set of stories. My husband tells me I talk to my son like I would with a friend. I thought about this. He is right. I am afraid. Afraid I will lose contact with my son. Gee, what is worse, having him lie to me constantly or not hearing from him at all? Ugh!!!

3 comments:

terryann said...

Dear Liz I am sorry for this happening and for how this is affecting you! I have a daughter that does pretty much the same thing with the truth it is not in her. I have finally gotten to the place where she is a "prodical" and I am taking my advice from the parents in the Bible, they did not run after the son, they sat and prayed and watched the road for his return. they "got on" with their life and the children that they still influenced... they prayed and watched, they "detached" because they knew that they had taught him well and had done all they could... they prayed and watched.... the end of the story is victorious and he returned to the family "lesson learned" but not all will ... so in the mean time... I am praying and watching... I have a "detached" relationship for my own sanity... and I continue to go on with all the stuff that makes my life good. I also watch the road and pray.

terryann said...

I will pray for you!

Robin@creations-anew.com said...

Liz, I agree with Terryann's advise..it is wise council.

I can't imagine anything else than a mommies broken heart. I'll be praying too.

RObin
CreationsAnew